It takes a special family to foster children. It is beautiful
and it can also be heartbreaking. Methodist Children’s Home is blessed to have
many special families who have opened their homes to children who need a safe,
loving place to go as their family deals with difficult situations. Foster care
is offered through MCH Family Outreach offices in Abilene, Dallas, Houston, San
Antonio and Tyler.
On Nov. 14 in Houston, couples were honored for their
dedication and service to foster children during a conference at Woodsedge
Community Church in Spring, Texas. Matthew and Tonya Torkelson received an
award from Orphan Care Solutions and the Texas Department of Family and
Children Services for their outstanding service to children with Methodist
Children’s Home.
The Torkelsons were licensed with MCH in September 2011 and
received their first foster child in February 2012. Since then, they have fostered
10 children ranging in age from newborn to 14 months old. They have five
children of their own: two grown sons ages 31 and 28, a 22-year old daughter in
college and two younger girls, ages 9 and 11, they adopted from China.
Tonya said she had felt led to foster for years but her
husband did not feel the same way. After attending a Christian music concert,
Matt said he wanted to adopt children from China. They adopted two girls but
Tonya still felt the calling to foster. She talked to her husband again, and he
agreed to pray about it. A few months later they decided it was time to become
foster parents and contacted MCH to start the process.
“It has been a pleasure working with the Torkelson family
since they became licensed,” said Ramonia Ross, case manager for MCH Family
Outreach in Houston. “They are so real and so genuine and the love they have
for the children placed in their home is shown through the nurture and care
they give to them. One of the things I admire about the Torkelsons is the
respect they give to the birth parents, their nonjudgmental attitude, and their
willingness to help children have a smooth transition back home, no matter how
hard it is to let them go. And most importantly, I admire how Mr. and Mrs.
Torkelson are so supportive of one another.”
The Torkelsons’ children have supported their parents and
Tonya said the younger girls love having the babies in their home, “as they are
living dolls,” she joked. They are required to attend training annually which
Tonya said she enjoys.
“I’m
always into learning new things and even being retaught things already
learned,” she said. “I love going to the trainings as we get to be with other
foster families. It’s so nice to learn and speak with others in the same boat
as you. The lessons are taught by the staff so we get all that time with them
as well.”
She
said Ross is there to support them with whatever they need, whether it is
helping them deal with insurance issues, offering them advice or just providing
a listening ear.
“MCH
likes to listen to you brag about the kids,” Tonya said. “They make sure we
have everything we need to be the best foster parent for these babies. They
answer our questions when needed. They are a shoulder to cry on when that is
needed as well.”
Through
foster care at MCH, family reunification is the goal when possible. Foster
parents open their homes and work with the family as they work toward goals so
the child can return to a safe, secure home. Tonya said the most challenging
part of being a foster parent is when it is time to say goodbye.
“You
can try to prepare, but it does not work,” she said. “As the seconds tick
closer to the time they leave the more your heart aches. The more the world
closes in. The tighter you cling. You just want to hold your little baby
forever. But you can’t.
“I
have adopted so I have no hang up about family needing to be blood,” Tonya
added. “These little babies come into your home and you make them a part of
you. They are ours for a short time. So when they go home it’s almost like a
death. That’s kind of what it feels like. You will most likely never see them
again and you don’t have any control over how they are being raised or how they
are being loved. You just pray.”
But
even knowing they may face this heartache, the Torkelsons know that the time
and love they give to these children has a tremendous positive impact on the
children, the family and their own family. They are led by their faith and put
their trust in God.
“We
do it because we are called to do it,” she said. “We do it because we love the
children. We do it because these babies need a safe place to go to. We do it
because it teaches our kids to love others. We do it because we hope that we
are helping even just a little. We do it to try to meet the parents and try to
form some sort of bond with them. We do it for God.
“People
always say to us ‘I could never foster. I would get too attached,’” she
continued. “I tell them if you don’t get attached, if it does not break your
heart when they leave, then you’re not doing it right. Fostering is about more
than you. It’s about more than how you feel. It’s about giving kids a chance at
a better life. It’s about giving parents the tools they need to give it to
them. It’s about family and family is messy sometimes but so worth it.
“Fostering
is about showing Jesus to kids and their families, maybe for the first time in
their lives,” she said. “Fostering is about learning not to judge people, loving
them where they are now not where you think they should be. Fostering is beautiful
and we are so blessed to be a part of it.”
To
learn more about becoming a foster parent,
click here and contact
the nearest office in Abilene, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio or Tyler.
