Denise Davis and Bethany Falls lived in the same city, but
their paths had never crossed before. Then in 2013, both women and their
husbands embarked on an emotional journey to become foster parents through MCH
Family Outreach in Tyler.
They became acquainted in weekly trainings as they pursued licensing
for foster care. Then both received placements within one week of each other of
boys who were born only one day apart. Evan was placed with Falls and her
husband, David. Jacob was placed with Davis and husband, Keith.
Evan’s case was a voluntary placement and the family thought
he would go back to his mother after a few months. However, she relinquished
her rights and they thought at that point he was theirs to adopt. Jacob came
into Davis’s family with expectations that his case could turn into an
adoption. But the roller coasters for both cases had just begun.
Evan’s biological father unexpectedly came into the picture
when he was 1 year old, leading to visitations and court appearances. Even
though their situations were unstable, Jacob’s biological mother and father
each fought for custody which led to two separate jury trials. During the
trials, the biological parents’ rights were terminated but then appeals and
more legal issues followed.
Throughout the journey, Falls and Davis grew closer as they
were experiencing the same emotions and challenges.
“We were kind of thrown into it together but I am thankful
for that,” Falls said. “I wouldn’t have been able to make it through as
easily.”
“It was a Godsend,”
Davis said. “God knew I needed that friend that could identify and be there
right beside me.”
The mothers would call each other in the emotional times of
waiting in the car as the biological parent was having a visitation. Or sending
a hopeful text as they knew the other was waiting for news. During the trials,
the mothers leaned on each other for support as they waited to learn the fate
of their family.
“We could speak truth
and speak scripture to each other when we need it most,” Falls said.
They also relied on each other for advice as they
experienced new behaviors in the boys that their older children did not
have.
“It felt like for the first time I didn’t know how to
parent,” Davis said. “You have to parent so differently. Obviously, because you
are a foster parent you also have to discipline differently. But their
behaviors are so different and you have to figure out if it is a toddler thing
or an emotional trauma issue? And you can feel isolated in that because your
friends don’t understand the difference. You feel like an island on your own
sometimes. We were able to talk about that.”
Both mothers’ journeys led to the adoption of the boys and
their boys have now grown to be great friends. Looking back, the mothers are
thankful to each other and for God’s role in their experience.
“I don’t know how people foster without being firm in their
faith,” Falls said. “I can’t imagine going through this without God. To know
that He has my back and is protecting these babies and knowing that no matter
what the outcome, His Will will be done.”
“With Evan and Jacob, God chose them and plucked them out to
give them a fresh start,” Davis said. “It is such an honor and a blessing. I’ve
said to friends considering (fostering), it is going to be the hardest thing
you’ve ever done, but it is so rewarding. And I think as a family unit, it has
been amazing to see my older kids know it is a ministry and see that they want
to minister this child and get them through. They grow and the growth that
comes from it, you are amazed by that.”
